Last few days has been really hard and all I’ve thought of is food, especially today, though that may also be down to my lady moments, ha ha don’t know why I called it that, but yep that time of the month again, why is it now I’m older not only is it a lot heavier but it also gives me the worst cramps in my back, stomach and legs, anyway so yeah back to the last few days. I haven’t given in by the way just so you know, I have loads going on with family and stuff as don’t we all, I won’t put that on here as I feel it’s my blog and they didn’t ask to be part of it so it wouldn’t be fair to include them, but as with everyone some days just get to you more than others, it’s times like now that reminds me that having the surgery is the right decision.

I don’t think it helps that I’m pretty much stuck in my room right now, every time I get so much further with my mobility I am knocked back miles, least that’s how it feels, I had tendonantis in my right hip and was unable to even stand for four days which is very frustrating and painful. It’s weird for years I wanted to hide away and now I want to go outside, I must be the only person looking forward to going to hospital next month all because I get to look at something different for a few hours, I know it’s not forever but it gets me down sometimes, you try to stay positive but I think we all get down at times, usually by the next day I’m fine, the other thing that bugs me is whining ha and I feel like that’s all I do right now.

So on that note I’m gonna stop whining ha, catch you up with what’s been happening, so apart from my tendonantis break I have been doing physio 3 times a week though I do the exercises and steps etc 2 x day. I’m still on the air mattress at the moment, had treatment for a water infection which I think is back, my oxygen therapy machine which I use at night smelled of burning toast so had to switch that off the other night, burning smells and gas not a good combo, they swapped it over the next day so that was good, as mentioned I got a letter from the hospital for next month I assume it will be to be weighed and get info on the lrd diet, whether I need an endoscopy or not I’m hoping not but thinking I probably will as last one was 8 years ago, but have to do what I have to do I guess.

Also got a keyboard gonna try learn a bit always wanted to write a song and a book so gonna have a go, its one way of escaping too, bought myself a hoodie in size 30 / 32  and it fits was so chuffed, I also noticed something else too, when I was near my biggest before I couldn’t walk anymore, I had to turn sideways to get through my bedroom door and I would feel the door frame touch my hips, I was doing my physio and went through my doorway didn’t really pay attention but on the way back I walked through straight and I realised, I was no where near touching the sides of the frame on either side, I proper cheshire cat grinned for ages, in fact I’m doing it now ha. Staying on positive stuff, I am already half covered for Christmas and have everyone’s birthday’s and anniversary’s stuff sorted till the end of the year, so go me ha anyway better get to sleep, hope everyone is good and if your going through a hard time right now, stay strong, look for the positives and do something that helps you relax.

Take care

Lainie xx