My blog posts are usually all positive because it’s reflective of how I feel, but right now I feel pretty shitty, this happens to me every now and then, mix of cabin fever, hormones and feeling lonely I guess, which just sort of hits me, I’ve been fine most of today, did the usual stuff, couldn’t really do my leg exercises, as my knee was so painful, I could barely lift it off the floor. I was disappointed at the time but just got on with it. I then watched two films, afterwards I sighed thinking now what, which lead to I’m bored and that lead to feeling stuck here, feeling lonely, feeling sad and then sitting crying to myself.
I think I’ve realised lately, how much I would like to meet someone but at the same time I feel am so far away from that, I’ve been on my own for 17 years, that it terrifies me and feeling stuck doesn’t help, though I know it’s not forever. I guess if I’m totally honest, I have so much going on right now, I feel it would be terrible of me to put that on someone else, but then I’d also love to have someone to share stuff with, talk to, be there for me and just hold me in there arms, no one has done any of those things for such a long time. It kind of feels like it’s an impossible dream, one I dream about a lot .
I guess I have so much time to think sometimes, don’t get me wrong I know I have come so far, but when it’s your day to day life, even if you are pushing yourself to improve and change that life, it sometimes gets a bit groundhog day for us all not just me, whether that be your relationship or your job or whatever, we can all feel stuck sometimes. I know this is only temporary feeling and I will be fine by the morning, in fact I already feel a little better and so will you with whatever you’re going through, shed a few tears and move on and fight on.