Where does the time go?!?! even though I have a lot more spare of it than most do, we are 14 days into June and the last time I wrote anything was weeks ago. It’s so weird it sometimes feels like nothing changes in life when your going through the day to day but when I wrote down a quick note of everything I wanted to type about I realised just how much has happened. It’s so strange that were halfway through this year already, because I’m sure I was just wishing everyone A Happy New Year not that long ago and yet here we are 6 months later.

What’s been happening………..

Well to go straight in with the big news (imagine a drum roll) I have been outside in the wheelchair woo hoo and not only that I have been outside on my own in it, though I didn’t go far. I can’t begin to tell you how amazing it is or feels. I have never gone anywhere on my own in 8 years and it is just all kinds of wonderful, to have the sun on your face the breeze all around you. Independence & freedom are things I’ll never take for granted again, just having a little of them is everything and the last few years have really taught me to appreciate all the good in life and makes all the frustrations and fighting to get to this point so so worth it.

My OT brought in a re-ablement service to help and I’m now up to 40 minutes sitting tolerance, I’ve been into my sitting room for the first time in nearly 2 years, into the kitchen for the first time in 4 years and into to the bathroom for the first time in 3 years, it’s just amazing still to be able to do these things again and though I have a long way to go my big aim for this year is to be able to go to my Mam & Dad’s house as I have not been able to visit their new home at all and I have not seen them for a year sadly, though I speak to them everyday and face time on occasion it isn’t the same, so I am fighting to get up to that 2 hours level so I can go surprise them, which will be just amazing.

What else has been happening….

Well finally after fighting for 13 months I finally got weighed in March and I’d gained a stone. I wasn’t expecting to have gained weight though I didn’t think I would have lost much maybe 7lb at the most in those 13 months because in that time I had upped my calories from 1500 to 1850/1950 after looking more into the metabolism. I’d also had a massive dip in the October as I thought I’d be weighed back then and it affected my mood for about 3 weeks. Then at the start of this year I started to slack a bit and so I’d have the odd extra thing here and there, which I didn’t log in fact I stopped logging my foods pretty much or if I did do it, it would be afterwards and then I’d realise I’d gone over my calories by 2 or 300. I finally got a grip of it the back end of February this year and until after I had got weighed I hadn’t realised quite how bad things had gotten with my lack of effort.

The weirdest thing of all has been my reaction to gaining weight. I expected to have a full on melt down because of it, I even got very worried about it in the few days beforehand. I expected the self hatred to return, the feeling like a failure to all come flooding back and it didn’t happen and even now I still find it weird because that had happened for over 30 years and yet now it was gone and although I’m over the moon, I’m not sure how I’m meant to be it’s very strange. The medical rep who weighed me through my OT agreed to come back out on the 29th of April which he did and I’d lost 6lb of the stone I’d gained. I asked if he would again come out before my birthday which he agreed to and we arranged for the 17th June so fingers crossed that shows more of the weight gain gone… I’ll let you know how it goes.

Other stuff that has happened…..

Well I have got my shower chair and I’m just waiting on another sling for the hoist so that I can go in the shower, which I can’t wait for as it’s been a long long time since I was able to so much so I think I’d tell them to leave me there till the next day ha ha

I started a at home learning course on common health conditions.

The medical bin situation though I had to go right to the top pretty much I finally got given back my medical waste bins at least for 8 weeks while they monitor the situation the whole thing has been ridiculous and not one person even higher up has bothered to apologise which is shocking however for now it is sorted so unless anymore comes back from there monitoring I am hoping it is over.

My involvement with the mental health team has come to an end which is fantastic because I know I don’t need it but sort of bittersweet because I get on really well with them so will miss it but someone else needs the support and that is really important to me. They said that I was amazing and that my positive attitude & story were inspiring which was lovely of them to say.

Today marks two years since I started this blog.

I think I am pretty much caught up now, however if I have forgotten anything I will add it in my next post, I’m gonna try and post more often as I do love it and it helps me a lot.

Hope you’re all good

Lainie